A big meaty “Hello” to all of our wonderful clients and we hope you’re enjoying our weekly newsletters. Please feel free to tell us your thoughts, as the more feedback we get, the more we’ll understand what you really like. Simply reply to this, or go to our website at www.5starmobilemeats.com.au and go to the “Contact us” page.

Apologies to those who were looking for us at the Markets on Sunday, but we’ll be back real soon. In the meantime, you can simply order on-line, and we’ll get your ordered delivered ASAP.

We had many responses about our last week’s testimonial from Sal Watts about her husband Dave’s super strength which she attributed to him eating only Beef and Lamb from 5 Star Mobile Meats. This week’s testimonial has been sent in by a local Financial Planning Guru, golfing legend, former champion cricketer, and all round sporting Superstar, Phil Harris. [No relation to Rolf] Phil is also the uncle of the latest W.A. cricketing sensation to hit the headlines.

Phil’s nephew, Marcus Harris, recently became the youngest player ever, at 18 years and a few days, to score 150 runs at Sheffield Shield level, joining and passing such illustrious names as Greg Chappell, Doug Walters and Ricky Ponting. We have it from a very reliable source that the night prior to Marcus breaking the record, his Uncle Phil had cooked him a T-Bone purchased from 5 Star Mobile Meats. If this is true, it does give some credence to Sal’s story about her David’s super powers.

If you have any amazing stories similar to these, we’d love you to share them with us, as Trotty can only keep making up this bullshit for so long.

“If anyone is ever looking for me, don’t go the meat counter at a supermarket. You’ll never find me there. I took a Cube Roll from Hamsy’s to a mates place in Manjimup on the weekend. After a few frosties, I whacked a couple of 3 inch thick steaks on the Barbie. Geez, they were bloody magnificent. It was that good, I could have rolled in it.”

Phil Harris.21/03/11

Thank you Phil, he certainly tells it like it is.

Recipe of the Week 

Unfortunately we haven’t had anyone send anything in this week, so here’s a little tip. If you like Lamb Shanks, and we’ve got plenty, and you own a Slow Cooker, then simply buy a packet of “McCormick’s Slow Cookers”, “Garlic and Lamb Shanks” recipe base from any supermarket and follow the instructions on the back. They are delicious. Please send us through one of your favourites for next week.

With the footy season about to start this weekend, we thought we’d get you into the spirit with these little gems from the best in the business, Denis Commetti.

• 'Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his arms like they're playing My Sharona ...'
• 'Farmer may have an injury to his calf ... hmmm, a farmer with a calf problem ...'
• 'Spider had both his legs taken out from under him – leaving only the other six to balance on ...'
• "Ball to Barker to Barlow - The Hawks are attacking alphabetically"
• On Melbourne's Adam Yze: "A terrific player . . . terrible scrabble hand."
• "Ling's running off the ground a little bit gingerly."
• "Cousins, runs away from Carr ... not the first time we've seen that this season."
• On Cameron Cloke (who was timing his ruck jumps badly), "Cloke leaves his messages before the beep."
• 'Hay is bailed up on the boundary line . . .'
• 'Walker to Carr . . . that's a step up . . .'
• 'He's made a typo! - he wanted Bickley and he's got Buckley!'
• "The Magpies ought to be kicking themselves right now, but with their luck, they'd probably miss."
• After Darren Gaspar hits the post from 40 metres out: "Gaspar......the unfriendly post."
• "Ashley McIntosh.........like a good hair spray... capable of a subtle hold."
• "Ball in dispute, Lamb, now Yze the meat in the sandwich. Really Lamb should be in the sandwich."
• On former Magpie, Crow and now Cat, Brenton Sanderson: "He goes much better as a mammal."
• Freo v Port Adelaide. Josh Carr wearing 9 for Port crunches his brother Matthew, wearing 9 for Freo. "How's that, a two Carr collision, both with the same rego!"
• Daniel Metropolis playing for the Eagles was gang tackled by 3 opposition players. "Now there's a city under siege"
• Collingwood 40-points up against the Dogs, The camera focuses on Bulldog president David Smorgon looking despondent. "Now there's a glum dog millionaire.”

Don’t forget to stock up on Beer, Wine, Beef and Lamb before the weekend, then sit back and eat, drink and watch your footy team win.

Now go ahead and forward this on to all of your mates. Don’t keep us as your secret. We’ve got plenty to go around. Cheers.

We can’t wait to Meat you.