A big hello to all of our fantastic clients, and a big thank you to all of those who have passed on our newsletter to your friends and families.

With less than 2 weeks to go till Easter, if you are needing to place any orders, could you please give us plenty of notice, so we can make sure your order gets to you. We will be in town over Easter, but if you can stock up before hand it will ensure you get what you need.

This Sunday we will be at the Yoganup (Jetty) Markets, so please come and say G’day, and load up your fridge for Easter and have a Wagyu Burger or Sausage Sizzle.

Quite a few people have told us they have a favourite recipe they’d like to share, but as yet haven’t sent them through to us. This segment of our newsletter is very popular, so please help us out with one of yours.

This week’s Testimonial has been sent to us by a recent “convert” to 5 Star Mobile Meats. You may remember Phil Nicholl’s testimonial a few weeks ago, when Phil stated that he’d been at a mate’s place and the beef he served up was “tougher than a Docker’s footballer.” Well that man has seen the light, and last week ordered 20 T-Bones and some Wagyu Snaggers, from 5 Star Mobile Meats, for his tennis windup. Here’s what he had to say after the event.

“I was designated Catering Officer for our Tennis Windup last Thursday. The meat was delivered to my doorstep, so all I had to do was rock up to Tennis and light the Barbie. The boys all cooked their own steaks to their individual liking. The noises being made for the next 20 minutes sounded  like something you’d hear in a Blue Movie. A couple of the boys already get their meat from 5 Star Mobile Meats, but I reckon there’s many more from that night who’ll be converting. Thanks Wayne and Jules, now I know what Nicho has been raving on  about. You’ve won me forever.”
Glen Young.

Everyone knows Youngy as a local Teacher, Guitarist extraordinaire and Singer/Songwriter and we thank him for those kind words. Just wondering though Glen, what a blind man walking past the tennis club last Thursday night, might have been thinking, hearing all those muffled “Blue Movie” noises. And all from male voices. The mind boggles.

Recipe of the Week. This is a beauty for leftover Roast Lamb. Most Lancashire Hotpot recipes tell you to brown the meat first. You’ve already done that when cooking the roast, so why do it again. Instead of making cold lamb sandwiches why not make another hot dish? So click here for a fantastic Leftover Hotpot

Last week’s poem got a lot of laughs, so we’ve decided to make these a regular event. Here’s Trotty’s latest one. How true is this fellas?

I’VE GOTTA LAY MY EGG TODAY

The biggest lesson I ever learnt, came from my old man.
“Son” he said, “Don’t waste your time, trying to understand
What goes on inside the heads, of the women of the world.
We’ll never work them out son, they’re different, all them girls.”

But I’ve come up with a theory, I’d like to put to you
On why we are so different, it’s not really something new.
It’s all about Biology, and the organs we’ve been given.                                                                                                               
They really are responsible for how our lives are driven.

Just picture this scenario, it happens everywhere
The man comes home from working, and flops in his favourite chair.
He takes his smelly boots off, and says, “Hey listen Dear,
Would ya do a bloke a favour, and grab an ice cold beer.”

“I’ve had a mongrel of a day, Jeez it was bloody hot
And Bluey didn’t front today, and I had to do his lot.
The boss was really cranky, and was bitin’ off our heads.
He caught Macca in the Smoko room, pumpin’ out the Zeds.

The stupid bloody truck broke down, we had to get out and push
And crazy lazy Jimbo nearly drove us in the bush
But enough of me, I’m knackered, how was your day Dear?
Come and sit and talk to me, and don’t forget my beer.”

Then there’s the sounds of silence, an eerie pregnant pause
And then the sound of sighing, and the slamming of fridge doors
The wife returns with a stubby, and gives her man a kiss
Then looks at him, and shakes her head, and launches into this.

“I’ve had the worst day of my life, you wouldn’t want to know.
The kids were late for school today, my car just wouldn’t go.
They had to get the bus again, and I didn’t have any change
That made me late for the hairdresser, and I had to rearrange.

The washing machine is on the blink, and the Laundromat was shut
So I had to go to your Mother’s house, and you know that she’s a nut
She nagged and nagged the whole time there, I couldn’t shut her up
So I was late for tennis, and we were playing for the Cup.

And that is not the end of it, it’s been such a rotten day
I hurt my knee in the very first game, and couldn’t even play
I haven’t made you any tea, not because of my sore leg
When I got home from all of this, I had to lay my egg.”

“You had to what?” asked Hubby, “Did I hear you right?”
“I had to lay my egg today. No sex for you tonight.
Kids and school and tennis, I just didn’t want to cook.
Thank God it’s only once a month. I’d hate to be a chook.”

Hubby sat there thinking, the penny suddenly dropped
And it began to sink in, and suddenly he stopped
“Hey wait a minute Missy, please don’t think I’m a jerk.
But once a month you lay an egg, and you reckon it’s hard work.

I’d like to tell you something, put into layman’s terms
While you were laying just one egg, I made 3 million sperms
And I do that every day, I don’t get weekends off
No days off for sickies if I’ve got a cold or cough

Each morning when I get up, and off to work I go
My balls are working also, they never ever slow
And even when I’m sleeping, I’m making up a load
To afraid to stop because, my scrotum might explode.

Christmas Day and Easter, I can’t say “have a break”
3 million little tadpoles, I just have to make.
Every day since Puberty I’ve been doing this.
And I’ll just have to keep it up, till something goes amiss.

But Darling don’t you ever think, that I would like to swap
I’d rather build my Taddies, than have what you girls cop
But laying one little Googy Egg, I really cannot see
Is any sort of good excuse, for not making my tea.

But I’m prepared to strike a deal, let’s call it compromise
I’ll go and make us dinner, I’ll heat up those frozen pies
And you just sit, and have a wine, and rest those weary cogs
Then you and me are off to bed, before the Tadpoles turn into frogs.

Jeff Trott 11th April, 2011.