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Hi all, well what a fortnight it has been, we where nearly in Melbourne this weekend, so close and yet so far! The first thing on my bucket list is an AFL grandee and it nearly happened and imagine if the Eagles where there, would have been an even better bucket list!!
We have a couple of specials running that I am sure you will be interested in, specially now we are having some beautiful Spring weather and the barby's are being dusted off!
For a fortnight we have sides of Spring lamb for just $11.50/kg, and includes a boned and rolled leg, shanks, forequarter and loin chops and all vacuumed sealed for easy storage.
 For one week only we have beautiful rib eyes, normally $24.50 out for $19.99, this is my favourite cut of meat and if you love scotch fillet you will looovvve the rib eye and what a good chance to show off to dinner guests – chucking a slab of that on their plate!!!
Our recipe this week is from Sharyn Newlands one of Busso footy clubs most loyal supporters and tireless worker and like the rest of us footy lovers hanging out for next season for it all to start again! it is an alternative way of cooking silverside, so give it a go and have some cold meat in the fridge for lunches. Just hover over the word recipe or silverside and click and you will go to the recipe.
Well this is really worth the read, I am sure we all have someone that we can relate this to, (we have a great mate that could have written this!) and I still laugh every time I read it!!
ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
Last weekend I saw something at Cash Converters that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button... Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to the good wife what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my lounge chair, my dog Shardie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Shardie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet little dog. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a Bali tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.
The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, Shardie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the chair, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on myside in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs!
The dog was making sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the TV, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution:
There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
* My bent reading glasses were on the top of the TV Cabinet.
* The lounge chair was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
* My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
* My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
* I had no control over the drooling.
* Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
* I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!
Have a great week and if you are in Busso on Sunday come and see us at Yogi (Jetty) markets, we will be a bit seedy as we will be bringing the Cat's home with a few ales, be safe and enjoy the weekend.
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